Written by Caterina 2022 Cohort
This is a personal answer to one of the New York Times Learning Network topics. For details, check https://www.nytimes.com/ca/section/learning
I think it’s a good topic that some kids crave freedom, but parents don’t allow it. First, as an example from the reader’s point of view, I wouldn’t let 9-year-olds ride the subway by themselves because it’s not safe and unsafe things can happen on the subway. I honestly don’t think any parents give their kids absolute freedom at the age of 9.
When I was in middle school, my parents would restrict my freedom, but they weren’t always “helicopter parents” either. They would limit me from going to another city with my friends, but they would agree if we went out locally. They allowed me to try new things, such as swimming, biking and roller skating, which I learned on my own because my mom thought falling was the fastest way to learn. She bought me knee pads and a helmet; the rest of the time was spent letting me practice independently.
A huge turning point was when I got to high school, and my parents started giving me more freedom because they felt that a high school student was equipped to solve unexpected things, so when I asked for permission to travel to other cities with my friends, they gladly accepted. In the future, I would give my children the freedom my parents gave me because I feel that children are still incapable of assessing danger and need their parents to help them when they are young. The prerequisite for giving them freedom is honesty, and I want my children to understand that they can have space, but that doesn’t mean they can break the rules. If I find out they are lying, their “credit score” with me will be lowered, and I will “limit” their freedom. I want them to judge right and wrong and what is safe. I want to be able to be friends with my children.