Written by Han
Recently, a post describing a funder expressing disappointment and sadness over a girl she had funded for eight years becoming a housewife has sparked a heated debate about the acceptability of such behaviour. The funder only used hedging words like “a block in her heart” to convey her feelings, but I sensed a strong sense of unworthiness and other passive feelings in her sentences.
While there may be a hundred reasons to support the girl’s choice to become a housewife, she was clever, knowing her strong points were beauty and youth. She told the sponsor that she didn’t have a good family, and the university she graduated from was average, so she wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. Now, she often posts a significant number of luxury goods and her experience of pregnancy preparation on social media, representing her better quality of life than before. As an inclusive person, I understand her choice. However, my empathy is more for the funder.
The funder is also a woman, also comes from a rural area, witnessing gender inequity and skewed resources. Education gives her more choices to get rid of her fate. So She wanted to improve the current situation by funding a girl even when she didn’t have a high income. Sometimes she invested half of her income in supporting that girl. At the end of the post, she laughed at herself for being an idealistic fool for expressing her values and helplessness.
Today, some people recognize liberalism as the representation of freedom and autonomy. They misused liberalism to justify the girl’s behaviour, citing her lack of love in her early stage or the funder’s volunteer status as reasons for using the resources. However, the liberal approach also involves recognizing and addressing the structural barriers that may limit women’s choices and opportunities. The intention of becoming a housewife causes the passive effect that women would be less chosen by helping and supporting because they don’t pay back good value for society. The wrong choice of those who have to choose leads to no intention of those who do not have to choose more. Meanwhile, we don’t have a sound system to cope with it.
Systemic inequalities may be solved someday, and social justice will be promoted so everyone can prioritize their rights and freedoms without budget constraints. Or maybe, this is why the wheel of history stays the same. (The girl’s statement that “a man can still change her life” should be food for thought for all of us and make us take charge of our destiny.)