Written by Han 2022 Cohort
Reading week provides a good chance for me to reflect on my life, retrospect the past and see the possibilities of the future. Then I realized how rewarding and fulfilling the trustworthy and supportive friendships bring me. Here’s my summary of how to have a solid relationship (so far, only companies)
Open-mindedness
This is the most important because it is the foundation of communication. It means we can actively listen to each other without judgement and bias to have a safe space to express transparent and honest opinions. Also, it indicates an implicit truth that we are good people who can understand each other and keep secrets. In this stage, it is like a mutual test to determine if the other can truly understand us and if they are willing to open their hearts. Through their performance, the test also helps us evaluate the character of the other.
Keeping in touch
Building a solid relationship takes lots of time and effort. Maintaining a connection can help us become more intimate. It allows us to share our feelings and dreams and get emotional support and understanding from each other. When we are talking about the plan, It has an underlying meaning that we include each other in the future. So we will sincerely congratulate the other’s growth and respect their choices. (But try to avoid financially related matters)
Coping with defence mechanism properly
When the relationship gets more profound, we inevitably meet with differences and conflicts. Most of the time, when facing such problems, we would see immature defence mechanisms like avoidance, acting out and passive-aggressiveness…from others. Self-awareness will play a key role in it. We must know why we produce some ideas that make the outcome worse. Then try to overcome them.
Any efforts are not one-sided but mutual. However, while it takes much effort to say that, becoming excellent friends is more like “Let nature take its course,” a magic mutual attraction. I am willing to spend much time building friendships because I cherish every company.